Casual sex is something that most people yearn for. It might sound a bit desperate, but it really isn’t. Sex is often put on an imaginary pedestal which creates many apprehensions in our mind. But if we remove it from that lofty position and see it as what it is, it is truly a beautiful thing. With everything that is good, there will be a few bad consequences too. By being responsible, we can avoid such problems and revel in the pleasure it provides. Here are a few tips and rules regarding casual sex and how to experience it responsibly and without regret.
RULE 1: Are You Ready?
The first question you have to answer is whether you are ready emotionally for casual sex? This might sound ridiculous at first but it is an important subject to think about. Having casual sex means you need the mental fortitude to say goodbye after being together. When you find someone who is interested in casual sex, they might not be interested in any serious relationships. If that individual is amazing in every way, there is a very good chance you might start falling for him/her. And if he/she isn’t interested, be prepared to take that in your stride. No matter how much we try, sex will always be personal and will create a bond between two individuals. So make sure you know what you are getting into.
RULE 2: The No Cuddle Policy
Resist the temptation to cuddle after sex. Remember that casual sex is supposed to be casual. Cuddling initiates intimacy and may start you on a path of regret. Have fun, explore fantasies and experiment as much as you want as long as you keep your emotions in control. Be aware of your purpose and make sure that you don’t initiate any emotional sparks from your end.
RULE 3: Assert Your Power
Know that your power is yours and no one can take it from you. Don’t let your partner manipulate you or treat you like a sex toy unless it is a fetish of yours. Even then establish clear rules and stick to them. Your partner is there to pleasure you and you are there to pleasure him/her. That’s where the relationship starts and ends. You have equal say in everything and never let your partner take away your power.
RULE 4: Beware of Neighbors!
Think really hard before entering into a casual sex relationship with someone who lives nearby. You might run into him/her later and you don’t want that to happen. Try to find someone who lives far away so you can have your privacy in your life.
RULE 5: Never Overthink
The moment you overthink casual sex, you will spiral down a deep hole filled with doubt, regret and unhappiness. Don’t think too much into what you partner means when they text or say something. Leave the detective work aside and just have fun.
RULE 6: Establish Boundaries
Before you engage in a casual sex relationship with someone, establish boundaries and cut them off the moment they break it repeatedly. Some of the rules you can establish are never spending the night together, no getting jealous if one individual decides to sleep with someone else etc. This is crucial and get into bed with only someone who understands and respects these boundaries.
RULE 7: Keep Your Casual Sex Life Separate
If it is truly casual sex that you desire, then it is essential to separate it from your daily life. Do not introduce your partner to your friends or your place of work. That way, you can enjoy all the benefits of casual sex while dramatically reducing any potential negative consequences. Moreover, it will help to end a relationship much easier if things go south.
RULE 8: Spice It Up
If you hook up with the same individual multiple times and find him/her to be responsible, then it’s crucial to spice things up a bit. Repeating the same thing every time you meet will one day lead to boredom and finally complete collapse. You can avoid this from happening by exploring each other’s sexual fantasies or by trying new sexual activities and/or positions. Don’t be afraid to experiment. You might end up loving these new experiences.
RULE 9: Be Honest to Yourself
If a casual sex relationship is taking its toll on you, pull the plug without hesitation. Always remember you are doing this for fun. You don’t have any obligation to anybody to keep things going, if doing so makes you miserable. Moreover, if you find yourself falling for your partner, think really hard on how you want to take things forward. Would your partner be interested in pursuing a real relationship? Don’t jump into anything. Communicate and always keep an open heart. Nothing is set in stone.
RULE 10: Have Fun!
Always remember that the whole point of having casual sex is to have fun. If it’s getting difficult just to pursue fun, shut it down and look for a different partner. You are a free bird and no one can chain you down. Do what brings you joy and always chase after happiness.
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All the points mentioned above aren’t steadfast rules to follow but things to think about before and during a casual sex encounter. Always be safe and have fun!